Get Away to Charge your Batteries

Retreat doesn’t mean giving up…

Life got you down? Are you just making it through the day? Would you rather be doing something – anything – other than what you are? Perhaps it’s time to get away for a couple days. My dad started “Boys weekend” with no real ‘agenda’ other than giving us a chance to unwind, and we’ve enjoyed it every year since.

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From Humble beginnings

It all started for us in the mid 90s when my father organized a retreat for the “boys” (him, his sons, and sons-in-law). With all of us being husbands and fathers ourselves, my dad believed that we could use a couple of days away from the normal grind.

It began very small; we would make the 3 hour drive to the cottage my parents own on the Thousand Islands after we could get out of work on Friday. (The Thousand Islands is a heavy summer vacation destination in the upstate New York area with summer cottages, rental units, and camping areas; the normal season is Memorial to Labor day) The plan was to spend the weekend fishing, golfing, eating, drinking, and most of all, relaxing. We do all of those things, and one more we hadn’t anticipated when first starting – we take in life.

We’re all married…

Our wives seem to have approached this event with part doubt, part understanding, and part encouragement. After all the years we’ve been going, they still seem surprised that we can actually manage on our own for three days. We do eat well – cooking and cleaning for ourselves (with the occasional meal out). The understanding and encouragement comes into play when they see that each of us returns home a little better for the trip and ready to tackle our daily lives.

Fishing – not the bass-master’s style

I grew up fishing with bait on a hook at the end of a line dropped over the edge of a boat, and still pretty much prefer to do it that way. Sometimes the fish are biting, sometimes they aren’t. Either way it’s fine to sit with a rod and reel in your hand and wait for the fish to decide if they want to be caught. You get to discuss the merits of the day’s fishing – is the anchor setup drifting you across a nice section that seems to have activity; are we having better luck with minnows, worms, or perhaps crabs; are you getting activity on the right side of the boat versus the left… Depending on the time of day there might be some drinks or snacks to munch on. And as stated – sometimes you get to catch fish.

(And truth be told, one of my brother-in-laws actively fishes in bass-master tournaments, and when he can, he brings up his bass boat and does the popping around thing. He generally brings in more bass…)

Fore!

Winter rules every day… One benefit to being out after the season has ended is that the nine-hole course nearby will let us head out as a five-some (sometimes we’re the only ones out there). And as we’re in a relaxed environment, if some faster golfers happen to catch up to us, we’ll let them play through. Dad has the experience and patience to teach, but generally offers advice only if asked.

His most common advice is to simply connect with the ball – to avoid trying to smash it. His thought is that a well-hit ball straight down the fairway beats a monster hit (if we are able to connect) that lands in the next fairway (or out of bounds) most every time. It’s hard to argue with a man that plays better than most of us on most holes…-)

A few steaks are good, adding some clams is nice

We have always aimed at a nice dinner on the Saturday that we are up. Sometimes dad would bring the steaks up with him, other times we’d pick them up at the grocery store after golf. He’d have a list and send each of us in a separate direction – one for some rolls, another for a salad, maybe some butter, and I like finding something sweet for desert. Preparation goes well once we get back to the cottage, and the steaks have worked well.

Last year, my one of my brother-in-laws purchased a steamer, and clams were added to the menu. (I happened to miss my first weekend up in many years – my loss) We repeated that again this year, and as the weather was not as nice for fishing, we spent a little bit more time eating!-)

Want to play a game?

In the evenings there is time to sit, watch a little television, play a card game like Euchre, or something else I may have brought up. (I have introduced the group to odd games like “cosmic wimpout” [also good for cub scouts], “skitgubbe“, and “Rummikub“)

In fact this last year, when it came to that time, everyone looked over at me and asked – “So, what weird game did you bring up this year?”, but alas, I had not.

Sunday afternoon may find us finishing off some clams or a leftover or two, and taking in a Bills game. The trip home is three hours and if you time it right, you can stop at a nice grill for dinner.

Truth in advertising – some work is done

I would be remiss if I didn’t mention that we fit some work in on the weekend. Closing up some vents in the attic, pulling the rowboat out of the water, trimming bushes, putting away lawn ornaments, and otherwise cleaning up.

My folks are advancing in years, and while I’m sure my dad could do it all, he shouldn’t have to – we’re all happy to help him out.

Recharging

Nowhere in here have I mentioned any spiritual activity, though if you asked each of us, I’d bet that we would say that we feel more connected with each other, nature, our families, and “life” after our weekends away.

People that analyze this sort of event would attribute this “connection” to things like – breaking routine, being away from home, no daily worries, doing enjoyable things, spending time outdoors, being with a group that has a lot in common. I’m sure they’d use bigger and fancier words but I’d agree with the essence of what their conclusions.

When we go on one of these weekends, we leave everything behind, especially our worries. This frees the spirit and allows the mind to relax. Sure we can be reached by phone, but being 3 hours away, there isn’t a lot we can do for any situation. Everyone knows we’ll be back on Sunday.

Campers have long known that spending time living close to the land is a great way to connect to it. It helps one realize (again) how wonderful the world is.

Having fun is a good thing, I recommend it for everyone. I know we all try to live happy lives, but with everything else going on, the fun sometimes gets shortchanged.

Those of us present also have a lot in common – we’re men, have wives and children, like to golf, fish, and relax (Not to mention that we all share a great dad;-) It is easy enough for us to spend time together. And though we all can’t make it each year, I know we all look forward to it.

It doesn’t need to take much

Someplace to go for a weekend, 48 hrs worth of food, some clubs and poles, and a few items packed in a bag. Maybe its something you’d like to look into…