Looking at Things from the Proper Perspective

Whose shoes are these?

“I can’t believe you thought …”

“What in the world were you thinking?”

“I could never imagine …”

How is it that we have such a hard time imagining how other people think? We act incredulous when we hear that another person or family has done something unsafe with tragic results, took an excessive risk, or didn’t foresee the consequences of an activity.

While there are truly some bizarre situations out there (Click here for news of the weird), we fail to understand others because we simply don’t put ourselves in their shoes often enough.

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Walking a mile…

As individuals we don’t know precisely what is going on in anyone else’s head. We don’t have his or her exact experiences, weaknesses, abilities, confidences, or expectations, so we can’t comprehend or react in the exact same way as anyone else. But that’s not to say that we can’t come close. It’s all a matter of looking at the situation from the proper perspective. Put yourself in their shoes, observe the situation from their point of view, and try to understand their thought process when formulating a solution.

“We have no milk”

In order to illustrate this, let’s look at the adventures of “family man Jack” who gets back from a meeting to find a voicemail from home letting him know that they’re out of milk.

Raising a family, Jack is used to dealing with these domestic situations, and he quickly formulates a plan to pick up three gallons of milk on his way home from work. (Jack’s family uses both 2% and non-fat milk; and the refrigerator usually has two gallons of the 2%, and one non-fat in it after a trip to the grocery store)

After leaving work, Jack stops at a convenient grocery store and successfully arrives home with the milk – and is feeling pretty good about the situation. Unfortunately, he is greeted with “Honey, we only needed a half gallon of 2% for breakfast – remember – we’re going out for dinner with the Smith’s tonight and tomorrow we’re leaving for our vacation. It’ll just spoil while we’re gone. Don’t you pay attention to things? …”

Two thirds of all men can probably relate to Jack’s predicament, while three quarters of all partners can relate to the other side. Jack’s focus was on correcting the lack of milk and he filled in standard answers that would apply under normal circumstances. What Jack failed to do was consider the larger environment that the current situation fell in.

With the ability to see detail from the tiniest of atoms to millions of light years, it is probably a good idea to specify the scale or expected environment in any situation. If Jack were told, “Please pick up a half gallon of 2% milk on your way home tonight”, the results might have been more in line with the situation.

Think, and Ask Questions

So what are you to do when you’ve been told that you’re not on the same page as everyone else? One way is to check now and then … to simply ask; “Honey, what would you like me to pick up while I’m at the store?” Another is to put yourself in the other person’s position, to see what is going on from their perspective.

Or perhaps you’ve been sharing part of your life with someone who, on a good day, you’d describe as “absent minded”. They probably have a valid point of view if only you saw the situation from their place.

In either case, keep your mind open. When you consider things from another perspective, it might just all make sense.