Birth Order – First, Last, or Middle

An interesting walk through childhood

The Today show recently had a segment on Birth Order, looking at an article in Time Magazine “The Power of Birth Order”. It also happens to be that 21 of NASA’s first 23 astronauts were first born (or only children).

Have you ever considered if birth order dictates how we turn out, what we accomplish in life – the difference between a morphine addict and a President?

Have you ever considered how your birth order affected your own childhood?

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Trends…

It’s just as stereotypical as you might imagine. Those born first tend to achieve, middle children negotiate, and youngest siblings may not care so much for structure.

Several years ago I read “The New Birth Order Book: Why you are the way you are” by Kevin Leman. It gave me a great deal of insight into my own childhood as well as some of the dynamics involved in raising my children. If you’re ready to learn more about birth order, it’s a good place to continue.

Birth Order isn’t a mandate, and it isn’t what has to be, it simply helps explain why some trends show up. Understanding those trends can help you understand people – and work with them more effectively.

Oldest

The kid that comes along first has advantages as well as disadvantages. They get mom and dad exclusively until the next sibling comes along (or forever in the case of only children). Even if they later resent losing some of that exclusivity, they’re bigger and smarter than the others to come.
They’re often given some child rearing duties, and are the younger sibling’s first “mentor”, whether they agree to it or not.

Middle

Middle children have neither the exclusivity of the first borns or the youngest (who remain in the home after everyone else has moved out). The first born has already staked out a claim to a certain “niche”, and the middle child needs to figure out how to define themselves; to find their role.

Youngest

This area I know about – being the youngest of six. My eldest sister mothered me some, my immediately older brother was gifted with the athlete’s body, and all of my siblings looked on me with some parts admiration, some parts envy, and some parts indifference. Trying harder is almost a given.

Parents

About my parents, I have said this for a long time: My brothers and sisters did a great job training them.

By the time I came along, the little stuff wasn’t so significant any more, and the big stuff had to be pretty big to get noticed. To keep from getting punished, all I had to do was stay “better” than the other kids.

As a parent myself, I tried to relax a bit on the first born, and make sure the youngest doesn’t get away with too much;-)

Insights

Does the order in which you were born pre-ordain any of your actions, thoughts or decisions? Absolutely not. Nothing about birth order trumps individual choice and determination. If birth order does anything, it helps determine how you see the world, and based on how you see it, you may find that different things are important to you.

I’m not saying understanding Birth Order will change your world.

But it might give you more to think about, and may offer some insight when dealing with people.

Until later, I remain your free-wheeling, youngest born, thought provoking writer…

Steve