How can you not say anything?

You read it and see it, but can it really happen that way…

Man loses job and weeks later wife doesn’t know – because he’s “gone to work” every day for a month since. This is the stuff of movies, and we approach such situations with part laughter, part disbelief, and part pity. At least I used to … until it almost happened to me.

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It was sudden

Work wasn’t going as well as I’d like. I had come to the conclusion that the current working environment was no longer a good fit for me, but I wasn’t planning on leaving until I had something else lined up. And so it was unexpected when 9:30 Thursday morning rolled around and I was looking at cleaning up my affairs and emptying my desk by the end of the day.

I don’t know if the company president was looking to goad me into leaving or bully me into even more hours of work – either way, he pushed and I let him. In moments we had decided that this would be my last week, he would pay me for another, and I would be gone.

No transition required

In all of my previous positions, I had carefully worked transition plans over weeks – once providing 3 months of notice for an internal transfer. When you are integral to systems infrastructure, it makes sense to complete activities, transfer knowledge, and generally “clean up” before moving on.

This was different. At the president’s request, there was to be no transition.

Out of respect for my team and the others in the office I used the remainder of the day to sort, delegate, and otherwise clean up the very current items that I was working on without mentioning my changed status to the office. (That would come at a mandatory 7:30am meeting scheduled for the next day)

When my wife called for some information in the afternoon I spoke politely – what was I to do, I couldn’t talk about it in the office.

At the end of the day I simply left the office like any other. There was nothing else left to do.

That evening at home

Thinking on the drive home, I knew the news would be a bombshell. But with dinner ready to be served and the kids running around the house, it wasn’t the time to announce that I was out of a job. So we ate dinner as we would do on any other day.

The evening had one more event planned – a concert with our 7th grader. I thought that might make a nice time to discuss, but we had to bring our 3rd grader with us – the three remaining won’t get along if all were left home together. Too bad I thought, so off we went, and I still hadn’t said a thing.

This could go on for a long time

Through no real fault of my own, I had just about gone a complete day without mentioning it. I realized on that drive to the concert that this could continue for quite a while. The next day would be easy to get through – I was scheduled to go with my son to chaperone a school “fun” field trip. And then there was the weekend (with all of its activities) coming up. I knew if Monday rolled around and I still hadn’t mentioned anything, I’d probably be too embarrassed – and would shower and leave the house as if I was going to work.

All without mentioning the little bitty fact that I no longer had a job to go to…

It would have been all too easy.

And that thought worried me.

No time like the present

And so, in the small-talk filled auditorium I sat next to my wife and leaned over and told her that the strained relationship at work was resolved – because I didn’t work there anymore. The shock and concern afterward was as predicted.

There’s a world full of considerations – how will bills be paid, how long before I can find another position, what do we tell friends and relatives. There isn’t an answer to any of them other than that we’ll take one day at a time, and the world will not come to an end.

I received some flack as to the appropriateness of the timing and venue, but deep down I knew that if I hadn’t said something right then and there I would be waking up Monday morning and heading out into a cold day with nowhere in particular to go…